10. Jaelyn woke up on Monday, and after calling "DADDY!" asked -- Daddy, when will kindergarten start. Every morning has been a countdown. Friday a.m. is orientation.
9. Addison has not once regreted giving up his flyer. He teased me the other day, Daddy, bring me my flyer? I said, Your FLYER!? And he giggled uproariously, knowing that he had gotten me with his subtle humour.
8. Long day today at "Faculty Retreat." Several surreal elements (unpostable for legal reasons) confused me throughout the day on the question of -- is this just an extension of my very odd dream last night?
7. My office is organized. Really and Truly organized. And it was fun to make it that way. I understand why professional organizers get off on their jobs. Though I suppose I would grow weary of it eventually. (BTW, I have not abandoned my official stance that people should only aspire to be organizING never organizED.)
6. I finished a short screenplay about a forty five year old woman locked into a community college.
5. Lynn is gearing up for a new position as the Director (?) / Coordinator (?) of the Literacy Center in the downtown school district.
4. Jaelyn announced her plans tonight at dinner to shuttle the family to each of the four corners of the United States next summer. Seattle - Miami - San Diego - and Phillips Family....here we come!
3. I love corn season. We buy fresh corn at the market every night and devour it. Addison arrived at the table last night and in a broken hearted whine exclaimed, Not Corn! Again!
2. I'm zipping to the store after I finish this to buy the ingredients for Tomato Jam and Tunisian CousCous Salad. While tomorrow evenings eats sound really good. It's starting to feel a little late.
1. Lynn and I decided to chill together last night, and I felt bored with all the old topics (and given how many years we've been in this conversation, that's a lot of topics) and so somehow we had our first long serious conversation about --
Pro Football.
Apparently someone quite knowledgeable (L.) paired with a major blowhard (A.) can make quite a conversation out of relatively little shared knowledge....
Hope your top ten are treating you well....
peace~
cross post from the backburner
15.8.04
Rites of Passage
Yesterday Addison announced that today was tomorrow.
I was confused too. Until Lynn explained to me that Yesterday he had decided that Tomorrow he would be getting rid of his Flyer. And today is tomorrow (but that was yesterday).
When Jaelyn was ready to give up her pacifier (nicknamed the Flyer, via Gabe Gibbs, channeling an Unger Family Tradition), she took it to Toys R Us and bought a doll named Haley (just days after Haley Cearley had been born), so today, Addison his sister’s example and valiantly gave up his Flyer, using it to purchase (what else?) a sword!
Giving up your flyer is no small thing. The dude has not passed a single night, owie or naptime without asking for his Flyer and Blankie. But he quit. Cold turkey.
.
Saw our friend Josh Elek at church today. He and Erik (former housemate) and Cristin were all very close friends with (our friend, too) Scott Schuler who died unexpectedly this week. He was 25 and we found out about his brain death minutes before Noah took his tumble to the ground.
Noah is fine. Scott is dead. This jumble of life and emotion is exhausting. Harry blessed Josh & Cristin during Communion, but ironically the Celtic band was wailing away at this celebratory, tambourine & flute driven song. And it felt like that highwire again.
But Josh talked about this perfect healing moment where a ton of Scott’s friends walked down the steps of the McKinley Monument in silence at 3 am, a little tipsy from toasting and re-membering Scott, and suddenly that moment felt like a bit of lived poetry. A sort of perfection in the middle of sadness...
.
These accidental and incidental rites of passage are so desperately important for marking our lives for us. The chaos feels so pervasive, so relentless, so neverending, that when we can find some gesture to mark ourselves as new and mark the past as behind us.
Utne Reader recently had some articles on DIY rituals, but I think the irony is that rituals only work if they come from US (as opposed to ME). But all the us-s in our lives are so fragmentered and illusory. In these moments, I wish that it wasn’t a blog that connected me to so many of you who have helped me pass from this to that part of my life….And frankly, I could use you around me, to help me keep growing up…
Peace~
(not a sword)
cross post from the backburner
I was confused too. Until Lynn explained to me that Yesterday he had decided that Tomorrow he would be getting rid of his Flyer. And today is tomorrow (but that was yesterday).
When Jaelyn was ready to give up her pacifier (nicknamed the Flyer, via Gabe Gibbs, channeling an Unger Family Tradition), she took it to Toys R Us and bought a doll named Haley (just days after Haley Cearley had been born), so today, Addison his sister’s example and valiantly gave up his Flyer, using it to purchase (what else?) a sword!
Giving up your flyer is no small thing. The dude has not passed a single night, owie or naptime without asking for his Flyer and Blankie. But he quit. Cold turkey.
.
Saw our friend Josh Elek at church today. He and Erik (former housemate) and Cristin were all very close friends with (our friend, too) Scott Schuler who died unexpectedly this week. He was 25 and we found out about his brain death minutes before Noah took his tumble to the ground.
Noah is fine. Scott is dead. This jumble of life and emotion is exhausting. Harry blessed Josh & Cristin during Communion, but ironically the Celtic band was wailing away at this celebratory, tambourine & flute driven song. And it felt like that highwire again.
But Josh talked about this perfect healing moment where a ton of Scott’s friends walked down the steps of the McKinley Monument in silence at 3 am, a little tipsy from toasting and re-membering Scott, and suddenly that moment felt like a bit of lived poetry. A sort of perfection in the middle of sadness...
.
These accidental and incidental rites of passage are so desperately important for marking our lives for us. The chaos feels so pervasive, so relentless, so neverending, that when we can find some gesture to mark ourselves as new and mark the past as behind us.
Utne Reader recently had some articles on DIY rituals, but I think the irony is that rituals only work if they come from US (as opposed to ME). But all the us-s in our lives are so fragmentered and illusory. In these moments, I wish that it wasn’t a blog that connected me to so many of you who have helped me pass from this to that part of my life….And frankly, I could use you around me, to help me keep growing up…
Peace~
(not a sword)
cross post from the backburner
31.5.04
in michigan this past week
we had quests with the cousins -- trekking across the dangerous Backyardis to recover some potion from the wooden castle to heal Queen Glorianis' fatal eyebrow twitching disease. The costumes pictured here were Queen Glorianis' disguises (pulled straight from the Easter Cantata Closet) to sneak the children past the wizards --
Cousins, acting like foxes narrowly escaped their pursuers Bampa & Uncle Andy, colored with Aunt Gigi, posed for Gramma Glo, collected hundreds of tadpoles from the water above the pool cover.
The "notals" sat around the table for hours like the endless talkers we are.
And Bampa and I discovered / created a performance art / game that the kids (ok, and the adults) played over and over. Who knew that a poolcover could be so great?
Cousins, acting like foxes narrowly escaped their pursuers Bampa & Uncle Andy, colored with Aunt Gigi, posed for Gramma Glo, collected hundreds of tadpoles from the water above the pool cover.
The "notals" sat around the table for hours like the endless talkers we are.
And Bampa and I discovered / created a performance art / game that the kids (ok, and the adults) played over and over. Who knew that a poolcover could be so great?
22.5.04
a perfect moment
the banks of the creek behind the cemetery which borders the back of our circle overflowed by fifty and a hundred feet today. Lynn saw it on her run, and we all went down to see.
inevitably we started to wade, and as the children recognized how transgressive the moment was -- we started to frolic.
I'm always reminded that I'm in a perfect moment when I see Jaelyn Running.
She has a funny and completely authentic gesture of whirling one arm -- at full length when she's running in complete abandon. She doesn't even recognize it when she's doing it -- and can't really make it "pretend" to happen.
So today as she ran through the Knee Deep water -- splashing everywhere -- Lynn running and yelling too, Woo Hoo -- and the arm started going --
I had a flash of recognition that we had found one of THOSE moments. A moment where all the rules go hazy and all the background floats away -- where you are completely and utterly HERE -- RIGHT NOW -- with EACH OTHER.
I flopped under the water myself (brrr!) and then attempted to cross the creek. The raging creek was at my armpits and despite all my (substantial) girth fighting against the creek --> I got SWEPT AWAY.
I grapped tufts of grass and pulled myself to the submerged shore.
Addison and Jaelyn ran freely and wildly. Splashing purposely to sit down up to their necks, climbing atop an island tree or water main cap. We waved to the maintenance workers who smiled at us from their mowers and bulldozers. We tried to be subdued when mourners drove by, but it was hard.
The world was overflowing and we happened to be right in the flow of it.
inevitably we started to wade, and as the children recognized how transgressive the moment was -- we started to frolic.
I'm always reminded that I'm in a perfect moment when I see Jaelyn Running.
She has a funny and completely authentic gesture of whirling one arm -- at full length when she's running in complete abandon. She doesn't even recognize it when she's doing it -- and can't really make it "pretend" to happen.
So today as she ran through the Knee Deep water -- splashing everywhere -- Lynn running and yelling too, Woo Hoo -- and the arm started going --
I had a flash of recognition that we had found one of THOSE moments. A moment where all the rules go hazy and all the background floats away -- where you are completely and utterly HERE -- RIGHT NOW -- with EACH OTHER.
I flopped under the water myself (brrr!) and then attempted to cross the creek. The raging creek was at my armpits and despite all my (substantial) girth fighting against the creek --> I got SWEPT AWAY.
I grapped tufts of grass and pulled myself to the submerged shore.
Addison and Jaelyn ran freely and wildly. Splashing purposely to sit down up to their necks, climbing atop an island tree or water main cap. We waved to the maintenance workers who smiled at us from their mowers and bulldozers. We tried to be subdued when mourners drove by, but it was hard.
The world was overflowing and we happened to be right in the flow of it.
13.5.04
.
family update
.
import from the backburner
this is the "here's what's happening" regular update -- target audience: people who care alot; lonely parasocial lurkers, beware. tedious cataloguing of the mundane follows:
i'm enjoying my semester much more at malone this semester. i'm teaching my two favorite classes (only), & having time to *almost* get all the work done that i'm supposed to...
i've got a couple of stories i'm scripting right now -- they're at the stage of newness that i can be purely excited about them still...
lynn is teaching a normal load & also partnering with the local urban school district in a number of ways. the work she's doing is very rewarding and difficult -- trying to equip overworked, under-resourced teachers to develop literacy strategies for under-under-resourced student-populations.
one of the school districts has made some *huge* cuts in the past few weeks -- maybe more if a second levy is defeated this month. that whole bleak reality has been saddening and disheartening...there were a few days that lynn de-celebrated as the: "death of idealism"...
we LOVE: our babysitting coop. Our friends Jeff & Linda & Brian & Jenni have an arrangement which results in a date night two out of every three weekends and a housefull of two-through-four year olds every third weekend. It feels like a really solid way to share life and invest in each other's vocations and families. It's also really fun to have so many dates with the woman I love.
jaelyn's sick. not that that accounts for most of who she is and is-becoming, but it certainly occupies a front-ish burner right now. It's a recurring theme throughout the winter particularly....
Last night was a humdinger though. Between Lynn and I together I'm sure we got eight hours of sleep. Well. Almost. Vomit, not breathing through stuffy nose, fever, achy neck, sore throat...
BUT IN GENERAL ~ Jaelyn's delightful. She loves to play imaginatively with little people, dolls & animals; she can do so for hours with her brother uninterrupted and unsupervised. Okay for one half of an hour. But given the (st/)age we're emerging from -- a half an hour feels like a lifetime... She loves to care for sick, sad, or little people. It seems to be a part of her that's pretty unique and just - her. I admire that quality in her....
she really likes preschool & visits to the local YMCA --
as does ADDISON ~ who apparently deferred the terrible twos (because he was sweet, gentle, generous, kind, funny) until this week. He's ornery this week. In eastern-ohio-culture -- the personality trait of "orneriness" in children is celebrated -- particularly in male children (but occasionally a girl, too). It's a part of the cultural milieu that i'm still puzzling about.
He loves cooking. Seriously. Real or play cooking. Trains. Balls. Stories about (as he calls them) ROARS. (the most recent incarnation of said "roars" is a plea to include at least a guest appearance of Simba in any story you tell him...yes, i'm galled at the triumph of the disneyfication of the universe even in the lore of family and history...
we've been trying to sell our house for five months.
we want to move into a more diverse school district, a more urban environment & closer to work (eliminate a car) -- but we can't seem to sell our house.
we've been showing it more than once a week for the past three weeks, which is great right? Wrong. After 5 months, you're just resigned to the fact that whoever is looking at it is *not* going to put an offer on it. So you punctuate your day with a mad dash home in the hour you have between classes and meetings and you once over the bathroom and swiffer the kitchen and stuff all the brightly colored plastic toys into the large, someone less cluttered looking, but also brightly colored rubbermaid containers. it gets tiring.
But its one of our definitive rhythms right now. a recurring motif.
i'm using the term "post-evangelical" to refer to my faith journey right now...and feel disheartened by most of mainline American Christendom -- particularly all of the ways it gets commodified, represented & politicized -- BUT curiously, in light of all that -- I really love the church we're going to now...
as always, i miss my friends, miss time with my friends, and enjoy most the few opportunities there seem to be in life for true communion...
family update
.
import from the backburner
this is the "here's what's happening" regular update -- target audience: people who care alot; lonely parasocial lurkers, beware. tedious cataloguing of the mundane follows:
i'm enjoying my semester much more at malone this semester. i'm teaching my two favorite classes (only), & having time to *almost* get all the work done that i'm supposed to...
i've got a couple of stories i'm scripting right now -- they're at the stage of newness that i can be purely excited about them still...
lynn is teaching a normal load & also partnering with the local urban school district in a number of ways. the work she's doing is very rewarding and difficult -- trying to equip overworked, under-resourced teachers to develop literacy strategies for under-under-resourced student-populations.
one of the school districts has made some *huge* cuts in the past few weeks -- maybe more if a second levy is defeated this month. that whole bleak reality has been saddening and disheartening...there were a few days that lynn de-celebrated as the: "death of idealism"...
we LOVE: our babysitting coop. Our friends Jeff & Linda & Brian & Jenni have an arrangement which results in a date night two out of every three weekends and a housefull of two-through-four year olds every third weekend. It feels like a really solid way to share life and invest in each other's vocations and families. It's also really fun to have so many dates with the woman I love.
jaelyn's sick. not that that accounts for most of who she is and is-becoming, but it certainly occupies a front-ish burner right now. It's a recurring theme throughout the winter particularly....
Last night was a humdinger though. Between Lynn and I together I'm sure we got eight hours of sleep. Well. Almost. Vomit, not breathing through stuffy nose, fever, achy neck, sore throat...
BUT IN GENERAL ~ Jaelyn's delightful. She loves to play imaginatively with little people, dolls & animals; she can do so for hours with her brother uninterrupted and unsupervised. Okay for one half of an hour. But given the (st/)age we're emerging from -- a half an hour feels like a lifetime... She loves to care for sick, sad, or little people. It seems to be a part of her that's pretty unique and just - her. I admire that quality in her....
she really likes preschool & visits to the local YMCA --
as does ADDISON ~ who apparently deferred the terrible twos (because he was sweet, gentle, generous, kind, funny) until this week. He's ornery this week. In eastern-ohio-culture -- the personality trait of "orneriness" in children is celebrated -- particularly in male children (but occasionally a girl, too). It's a part of the cultural milieu that i'm still puzzling about.
He loves cooking. Seriously. Real or play cooking. Trains. Balls. Stories about (as he calls them) ROARS. (the most recent incarnation of said "roars" is a plea to include at least a guest appearance of Simba in any story you tell him...yes, i'm galled at the triumph of the disneyfication of the universe even in the lore of family and history...
we've been trying to sell our house for five months.
we want to move into a more diverse school district, a more urban environment & closer to work (eliminate a car) -- but we can't seem to sell our house.
we've been showing it more than once a week for the past three weeks, which is great right? Wrong. After 5 months, you're just resigned to the fact that whoever is looking at it is *not* going to put an offer on it. So you punctuate your day with a mad dash home in the hour you have between classes and meetings and you once over the bathroom and swiffer the kitchen and stuff all the brightly colored plastic toys into the large, someone less cluttered looking, but also brightly colored rubbermaid containers. it gets tiring.
But its one of our definitive rhythms right now. a recurring motif.
i'm using the term "post-evangelical" to refer to my faith journey right now...and feel disheartened by most of mainline American Christendom -- particularly all of the ways it gets commodified, represented & politicized -- BUT curiously, in light of all that -- I really love the church we're going to now...
as always, i miss my friends, miss time with my friends, and enjoy most the few opportunities there seem to be in life for true communion...
20.3.04
The Psino
import from the back burner
I was never sure why I was a psino (silent p); if it was something i had done; something i should be embarrassed about or something that was generally true of everyone.
it was certainly true of everyone that was in my sunday school classes.
Jesus loves me, the psino, for the bible tells me so.
Perhaps "psino" was a theological term describing the comprehensiveness of original sin?
It was a ridiculously long time before I figured out my error.
this, I know.
and i thought of it this weekend when Jaelyn asked me and Lynn very insistently and repetitively:
"What is Cruisey - Violence?"
It took a lot of conversation to realize that this was her take on the crowds maelovelent chant in the JESUS film (which she's been watching) as they chant, "crucify him!"
She'd been walking around muttering the magical dangerous phrase "Cruisey Violence" all day.
peace~
I was never sure why I was a psino (silent p); if it was something i had done; something i should be embarrassed about or something that was generally true of everyone.
it was certainly true of everyone that was in my sunday school classes.
Jesus loves me, the psino, for the bible tells me so.
Perhaps "psino" was a theological term describing the comprehensiveness of original sin?
It was a ridiculously long time before I figured out my error.
this, I know.
and i thought of it this weekend when Jaelyn asked me and Lynn very insistently and repetitively:
"What is Cruisey - Violence?"
It took a lot of conversation to realize that this was her take on the crowds maelovelent chant in the JESUS film (which she's been watching) as they chant, "crucify him!"
She'd been walking around muttering the magical dangerous phrase "Cruisey Violence" all day.
peace~
19.3.04
.
addison fandom
.
import from the back burner
my parents gave us this remake of the "Jesus" movie -- the one that missionaries cart all over the world to show in villages where we don't have time to learn about their cultures or languages or problems, but that probably need to say the sinners prayer sooner rather than later given the impending end times and all...
(but wait, i digress, apologies to my dispensationalist friends and family for my sarcasm...)
the jesus movie is *way* better than the other two videos that my parents have given me for my kids -- the cedarmont kids & Ms. Pattycake (for these two gifts alone, i'm guessing that my parents will languish in Limbo for several years before they find the pearly gates -- who knew that there was anything worse than those dreadfully stepfordian Barney's children -- trust me the cedarmont kids are two levels of hell worse)...BUT....
Addison is obsesed with it. Anytime there is a question about what we will do next -- where we will go next -- how we should pass our collective time? His answer? Let's watch the Jesus Movie.
We were sitting in a restaurant last night and he noticed that they were playing a radio in the background...his idea -- we should go home and bring the Jesus Movie and listen to that instead.
Hey Addison -- want to go outside and play? Yeah, then we come in side, and eat and watch the Jesus movie.
Me: No, buddy, we've watched enough media this week...
Addison: Then we go to sleep and wake up and THEN we watch the Jesus Movie.
Me: Add. You've watched that movie enough. Why don't we act it out together.
Addison: we play Jesus movie, the dead part, (his other obsession -- along with Mel), THEN we watch the Jesus movie.
Me: Addison, we're not going to watch the Jesus movie right now.
His entire countenance falls into a mixture between enraged and despondent.
ADDISON: HOW we going to watch it?
Me: You mean, WHEN are we going to watch it?
ADDISON: HOW we going to watch it? We never EVER get to watch Jesus movie.
so you take that obsession and braid it with the cultural critics' obsession over the Passion -- and you have a very crucifixion centered lent....
addison fandom
.
import from the back burner
my parents gave us this remake of the "Jesus" movie -- the one that missionaries cart all over the world to show in villages where we don't have time to learn about their cultures or languages or problems, but that probably need to say the sinners prayer sooner rather than later given the impending end times and all...
(but wait, i digress, apologies to my dispensationalist friends and family for my sarcasm...)
the jesus movie is *way* better than the other two videos that my parents have given me for my kids -- the cedarmont kids & Ms. Pattycake (for these two gifts alone, i'm guessing that my parents will languish in Limbo for several years before they find the pearly gates -- who knew that there was anything worse than those dreadfully stepfordian Barney's children -- trust me the cedarmont kids are two levels of hell worse)...BUT....
Addison is obsesed with it. Anytime there is a question about what we will do next -- where we will go next -- how we should pass our collective time? His answer? Let's watch the Jesus Movie.
We were sitting in a restaurant last night and he noticed that they were playing a radio in the background...his idea -- we should go home and bring the Jesus Movie and listen to that instead.
Hey Addison -- want to go outside and play? Yeah, then we come in side, and eat and watch the Jesus movie.
Me: No, buddy, we've watched enough media this week...
Addison: Then we go to sleep and wake up and THEN we watch the Jesus Movie.
Me: Add. You've watched that movie enough. Why don't we act it out together.
Addison: we play Jesus movie, the dead part, (his other obsession -- along with Mel), THEN we watch the Jesus movie.
Me: Addison, we're not going to watch the Jesus movie right now.
His entire countenance falls into a mixture between enraged and despondent.
ADDISON: HOW we going to watch it?
Me: You mean, WHEN are we going to watch it?
ADDISON: HOW we going to watch it? We never EVER get to watch Jesus movie.
so you take that obsession and braid it with the cultural critics' obsession over the Passion -- and you have a very crucifixion centered lent....
2.1.04
.
wobbly teeth * celebrity dreams
.
import from the back burner
Tonight we were riding home from the grocery store when suddenly a LONG profound silence from Jaelyn pooled in the back seat. I turned around and turned on the overhead light.
Have I told you before that my daughter who has the biggest, most beautiful brown eyes in the universe also has an uncanny ability to spill buckets of tears from those eyes at will?
I’m not talking about crying. I’m talking about a unique ability to sit silently, wide eyed and cry tears so violently that her face is soaking within a minute?
The moisture is building in her eyes.
ME: What is it Jaelyn?
Niagra Falls.
JAELYN: I almost broke my tooth.
ME: You what?
Have I told you before that my daughter has the most astonishing oral fixation yet documented (in my somewhat limited experience with such things) in a four-year-old? That she not only chews her fingernails and hangnails and dolls feet and hands and teddy bear paws, but also the sleeves of all of her shirts. And what’s more – tonight, she decided to chew – to pull violently – to … I don’t know what she was doing…snapping her elastic black pants with her teeth?
And sure enough, one of her front lower teeth is loose.
It was such an interesting moment, because the flood of her tears came to feel like Eden lost...they were genuinely pentitent, but neither she nor I could do nothing to reverse the angels at the gates with the flaming swords.
Everythingteeth.com (or something like that) assured us that four year olds are the right age to lose their teeth (even if mother nature gets a bit of help).
I cuddled her on the couch as she sobbed after I explained that the tooth would probably fall out, and though she would have a hole in her smile, a new tooth would eventually grow. Its amazing and horrible to feel the weight of a four year old dealing with the profound understanding that a choice she has made is undoable.
Is it true that in general, as a child, you get used to the idea that the world is not so much fixed as it is routine? That all that happens may well be purged and cleansed by the next time around? New Years doesn’t matter because years aren’t picking up speed and there's no great loss if you miss an opportunity this time, because it doesn't affect all the future opportunities you'll ever have....?
Freudian psychologists say that if you dream that your teeth are falling out – you’re fearing your own mortality. I don’t dream my teeth falling out, but I have been dreaming ALL THE TIME of being on trips – to far away places – amalgams of places I’ve lived and places I’d like to go. In every case, I run into old friends, and together we spend time with more recent friends. And I know that something is about to happen in these dreams.
Oddly enough (this is very strange for me), I’ve had celebrity dreams twice in the last week. Last night I was hanging with a bunch of friends (Burt, Brenda, Brendon, Natalie & Lynn) in a library that overlooked the Santa Monica Beach. And what’ya know….guess who was there? Jennifer Anniston! She engaged me in some banter about the note I had sent Brad. She’s been so funny about pretending that I’m really the snooty one to get to know – and people accuse HER of it! Imagine!
Two nights before that an old family friend that Lynn and I share – who just happened to be a dignitary in Iran before the Shah fell, asked Lynn and I to take Sheryl Crow to lunch at the local casino. He wanted to get our opinion of her before he asked her to sing at a fundraising lunch he was having. She was also very funny, really joking around and everything with us.
I’m not the guy who’s a star-f*$#er. I really have very few parasocial relationships with media figures, and I’m only interested in the phenomenon of celebrity in a very distant objective way.
So what do these dreams mean?
Will Jaelyn’s tooth fall out?
Stay tuned in 2004
for answers to these questions…
…and more.
peace~
wobbly teeth * celebrity dreams
.
import from the back burner
Tonight we were riding home from the grocery store when suddenly a LONG profound silence from Jaelyn pooled in the back seat. I turned around and turned on the overhead light.
Have I told you before that my daughter who has the biggest, most beautiful brown eyes in the universe also has an uncanny ability to spill buckets of tears from those eyes at will?
I’m not talking about crying. I’m talking about a unique ability to sit silently, wide eyed and cry tears so violently that her face is soaking within a minute?
The moisture is building in her eyes.
ME: What is it Jaelyn?
Niagra Falls.
JAELYN: I almost broke my tooth.
ME: You what?
Have I told you before that my daughter has the most astonishing oral fixation yet documented (in my somewhat limited experience with such things) in a four-year-old? That she not only chews her fingernails and hangnails and dolls feet and hands and teddy bear paws, but also the sleeves of all of her shirts. And what’s more – tonight, she decided to chew – to pull violently – to … I don’t know what she was doing…snapping her elastic black pants with her teeth?
And sure enough, one of her front lower teeth is loose.
It was such an interesting moment, because the flood of her tears came to feel like Eden lost...they were genuinely pentitent, but neither she nor I could do nothing to reverse the angels at the gates with the flaming swords.
Everythingteeth.com (or something like that) assured us that four year olds are the right age to lose their teeth (even if mother nature gets a bit of help).
I cuddled her on the couch as she sobbed after I explained that the tooth would probably fall out, and though she would have a hole in her smile, a new tooth would eventually grow. Its amazing and horrible to feel the weight of a four year old dealing with the profound understanding that a choice she has made is undoable.
Is it true that in general, as a child, you get used to the idea that the world is not so much fixed as it is routine? That all that happens may well be purged and cleansed by the next time around? New Years doesn’t matter because years aren’t picking up speed and there's no great loss if you miss an opportunity this time, because it doesn't affect all the future opportunities you'll ever have....?
Freudian psychologists say that if you dream that your teeth are falling out – you’re fearing your own mortality. I don’t dream my teeth falling out, but I have been dreaming ALL THE TIME of being on trips – to far away places – amalgams of places I’ve lived and places I’d like to go. In every case, I run into old friends, and together we spend time with more recent friends. And I know that something is about to happen in these dreams.
Oddly enough (this is very strange for me), I’ve had celebrity dreams twice in the last week. Last night I was hanging with a bunch of friends (Burt, Brenda, Brendon, Natalie & Lynn) in a library that overlooked the Santa Monica Beach. And what’ya know….guess who was there? Jennifer Anniston! She engaged me in some banter about the note I had sent Brad. She’s been so funny about pretending that I’m really the snooty one to get to know – and people accuse HER of it! Imagine!
Two nights before that an old family friend that Lynn and I share – who just happened to be a dignitary in Iran before the Shah fell, asked Lynn and I to take Sheryl Crow to lunch at the local casino. He wanted to get our opinion of her before he asked her to sing at a fundraising lunch he was having. She was also very funny, really joking around and everything with us.
I’m not the guy who’s a star-f*$#er. I really have very few parasocial relationships with media figures, and I’m only interested in the phenomenon of celebrity in a very distant objective way.
So what do these dreams mean?
Will Jaelyn’s tooth fall out?
Stay tuned in 2004
for answers to these questions…
…and more.
peace~
11.12.03
.
Addison's Birthday
.
this morning jaelyn, lynn & i surrounded addison's bed and woke him up singing happy birthday.
we got through the whole song twice -- inches from his face -- and he was still laying there, hands folded neatly behind his head theoretically sound asleep.
at the end of chorus two, lynn said, "who's going to open one of his presents first thing this morning?"
no twitching or changing in the sleeping face, but his hand quickly thumped his own chest. Birthday song? ho-hum. Birthday presents? Well that's a whole different proposition.
the picture above is from LAST year's celebration -- the waalkes kids, jae, & leah surround the birthday hero.
below is a more recent photo (in action this summer).
though most birthday celebrations will be postponed til next week (because of jaelyn's severe strep -- and probable infectiousness of all of us), we're still celebrating Add's entry into our world!
He's a crazy, funny, smart guy, and we're the lucky ones...
peace~
Addison's Birthday
.
this morning jaelyn, lynn & i surrounded addison's bed and woke him up singing happy birthday.
we got through the whole song twice -- inches from his face -- and he was still laying there, hands folded neatly behind his head theoretically sound asleep.
at the end of chorus two, lynn said, "who's going to open one of his presents first thing this morning?"
no twitching or changing in the sleeping face, but his hand quickly thumped his own chest. Birthday song? ho-hum. Birthday presents? Well that's a whole different proposition.
the picture above is from LAST year's celebration -- the waalkes kids, jae, & leah surround the birthday hero.
below is a more recent photo (in action this summer).
though most birthday celebrations will be postponed til next week (because of jaelyn's severe strep -- and probable infectiousness of all of us), we're still celebrating Add's entry into our world!
He's a crazy, funny, smart guy, and we're the lucky ones...
peace~
20.9.03
- saturday. finally. -
import from the back burner
it's an archtypal saturday morning.
we woke up late. (i haven't woken up late since I decided to be a more serious writer -- as most of you know 5 am is my date with my muse.) I had echinacea tea, j & a joined Lynn for some chai tea. She picked up an obsession from Andrea G. & the kids have joined her in her devotion to the stuff...
J & I both have the coughing, sneezing, sniffling, sneezing croup so HONEY in my tea (since I read _secret life of bees_ this summer, I have the sneaking suspicion that honey *is* the cure for everything) was great. Been listening to coldplay parachutes loud.
The kids are playing in the new sandbox grandpa garry just built them yesterday (read: that's not a sandbox -- that's a SMALL BEACH.)
The whole family ate popcorn and watched the neverending story last night. We've been fielding questions from Jaelyn about "what *is* the -nothing- though?" all morning.
I'm imagining a psuedo sci fi story where the nothing (eg. anti matter, black hole) slowly approaches the earth, and there are religious wars in churches, which are, along with casinos and brothels and prisons -- packed out....but the whole story wouldn't be about the world coming down (and i'm thinking that the world-coming-down story would be gentle and inevitable like the short story _The Ceiling_ and the novel _Blindness_ - not like the movie _Armageddon_) it would be about a religious conflict over whether or not different END TIMES theological frameworks (the kingdom coming, the rapture, the millenia, the apocalypse) could be REALLY HAPPENING in the approach of the coming nothing or if the coming nothing signalled something else. Kind of like a theological debate in the style of the _Name of the Rose_ -- only not quite so death-and-destruction as that story....
Eh?
And we put an offer on a house closer to Malone and it was accepted and now our house is on the market and we have to paint our kitchen ceiling, fix our bathroom (downstairs) walls, put in a little flooring, make up for three years of bad gardening plus the onslaught of fall...and we're signing hundreds of papers. And the tenure process is taking forever along with a self study that i'm heading up in the department -- we're sorting data and developing coding processes...
(anyone *else* bored with that last paragraph? how'd you like to live such administrivia?! BUT YOU DO!?! that's the kicker -- if it isn't homework, its taxes or investments or gardening and 401Ks and church boards and the United Way...)
And so when Jaelyn says but what *is* the nothing? I want to tell her that its the colonization of institutions upon the freedom and happiness of our minds....
But I know that these very same institutions frame our lives and give us privilege (give *me* privilege) that we otherwise couldn't enjoy...
It's a beautiful saturday morning -- sunshine in the wake of the leftover hurricane storms we've been feeling. And the resting makes me *see* the frenzy and the routine in a way that's not so benevolent.
I hope your Saturday morning gives you rest and peace and HOPE for the rest of the week -- because ultimately, I affirm that its not the presence of the institutions and their suckage that =s The Nothing --- it's the seeping & creeping away of HOPE in the bustle of trying to keep up with the great Sucking....and i hope that rest & hope leaves you feeling God's
peace~
import from the back burner
it's an archtypal saturday morning.
we woke up late. (i haven't woken up late since I decided to be a more serious writer -- as most of you know 5 am is my date with my muse.) I had echinacea tea, j & a joined Lynn for some chai tea. She picked up an obsession from Andrea G. & the kids have joined her in her devotion to the stuff...
J & I both have the coughing, sneezing, sniffling, sneezing croup so HONEY in my tea (since I read _secret life of bees_ this summer, I have the sneaking suspicion that honey *is* the cure for everything) was great. Been listening to coldplay parachutes loud.
The kids are playing in the new sandbox grandpa garry just built them yesterday (read: that's not a sandbox -- that's a SMALL BEACH.)
The whole family ate popcorn and watched the neverending story last night. We've been fielding questions from Jaelyn about "what *is* the -nothing- though?" all morning.
I'm imagining a psuedo sci fi story where the nothing (eg. anti matter, black hole) slowly approaches the earth, and there are religious wars in churches, which are, along with casinos and brothels and prisons -- packed out....but the whole story wouldn't be about the world coming down (and i'm thinking that the world-coming-down story would be gentle and inevitable like the short story _The Ceiling_ and the novel _Blindness_ - not like the movie _Armageddon_) it would be about a religious conflict over whether or not different END TIMES theological frameworks (the kingdom coming, the rapture, the millenia, the apocalypse) could be REALLY HAPPENING in the approach of the coming nothing or if the coming nothing signalled something else. Kind of like a theological debate in the style of the _Name of the Rose_ -- only not quite so death-and-destruction as that story....
Eh?
And we put an offer on a house closer to Malone and it was accepted and now our house is on the market and we have to paint our kitchen ceiling, fix our bathroom (downstairs) walls, put in a little flooring, make up for three years of bad gardening plus the onslaught of fall...and we're signing hundreds of papers. And the tenure process is taking forever along with a self study that i'm heading up in the department -- we're sorting data and developing coding processes...
(anyone *else* bored with that last paragraph? how'd you like to live such administrivia?! BUT YOU DO!?! that's the kicker -- if it isn't homework, its taxes or investments or gardening and 401Ks and church boards and the United Way...)
And so when Jaelyn says but what *is* the nothing? I want to tell her that its the colonization of institutions upon the freedom and happiness of our minds....
But I know that these very same institutions frame our lives and give us privilege (give *me* privilege) that we otherwise couldn't enjoy...
It's a beautiful saturday morning -- sunshine in the wake of the leftover hurricane storms we've been feeling. And the resting makes me *see* the frenzy and the routine in a way that's not so benevolent.
I hope your Saturday morning gives you rest and peace and HOPE for the rest of the week -- because ultimately, I affirm that its not the presence of the institutions and their suckage that =s The Nothing --- it's the seeping & creeping away of HOPE in the bustle of trying to keep up with the great Sucking....and i hope that rest & hope leaves you feeling God's
peace~
31.7.03
.
vacation summary - retraction - reflection -
.
import from the back burner
we spent the last week in michigan. drove from canton at 6 p.m. last thursday, returned to casacommunitas at 12:30 this morning.
during the trip up, lynn and i had some deep - dark and some deep - light talks...i felt much closer to her. seems like talking / conversation -- the value we share most deeply and that binds us most fiercely to each other -- is always priced at a premium these days ...
spent several days with dave and linda in south haven, mi. we hadn't been there before, but it seemed just about perfect. the extended gibbs family has been singing its praises in several keys for several years and so finally their witness broke through and i accepted this particular unique salvation.
what was the shape of this grace?
free bikes from our inn, so meandering conversational bike rides, plenty of great food, "committee meetings" galore, some hardcore sunburning on the shore of lake michigan, lots of rich dialogue about everything imaginable.
late one night, after my E self had pretty much vampired all the energy of the other three I's in the room....i proclaimed -- "that's all there is in the world! memories and relationships!"
it still seems like a worthwhile axiom, but later we discovered that i had left out essential things like eating and tables in that particular equation...
hung out for a long time with each of my brothers and parents by the pool at geborgenheit. with david was provoked by the shocking revelation that he doesn't think about the future. no five year plan. no ten year plan. no thoughts of legacy or coherence. just honesty and genuineness *now*.
with daniel we debated pacifism and then the redemptive arc hermeneutic...
which brings me to the retraction -- turns out that LYNN is NOT a pacifist. she's just clearly opposed to the war we've most recently engaged in and thinking really hard about the implications of a commitment to nonviolence.
resultant self discovery: turns out that i am more likely to EMBRACE *then* consider when it comes to new positions. this may be a helpful rubric for those of you struggling to justify my earlier self descriptions as *liberal* and *pacifist*. i chalk this up to my 1.) penchant for hyperbole, 2.) my empathic strain, 3.) my procilivity to think outloud (i think marcia gave me the term "external processor"), & 4.) my tendency to want to think / be / perform outside of "the box". which, if you think about it, is kind of odd because this whole *embracing* thing just locks me into a new box...
sometime i'll devote a whole blog to how affixing our identities to the various discursive formations that surround us is always problematic and conflictual....but (big sigh of relief audience) not today.
have i fulfilled the promises of my title? can i end for the day?
~peace.
vacation summary - retraction - reflection -
.
import from the back burner
we spent the last week in michigan. drove from canton at 6 p.m. last thursday, returned to casacommunitas at 12:30 this morning.
during the trip up, lynn and i had some deep - dark and some deep - light talks...i felt much closer to her. seems like talking / conversation -- the value we share most deeply and that binds us most fiercely to each other -- is always priced at a premium these days ...
spent several days with dave and linda in south haven, mi. we hadn't been there before, but it seemed just about perfect. the extended gibbs family has been singing its praises in several keys for several years and so finally their witness broke through and i accepted this particular unique salvation.
what was the shape of this grace?
free bikes from our inn, so meandering conversational bike rides, plenty of great food, "committee meetings" galore, some hardcore sunburning on the shore of lake michigan, lots of rich dialogue about everything imaginable.
late one night, after my E self had pretty much vampired all the energy of the other three I's in the room....i proclaimed -- "that's all there is in the world! memories and relationships!"
it still seems like a worthwhile axiom, but later we discovered that i had left out essential things like eating and tables in that particular equation...
hung out for a long time with each of my brothers and parents by the pool at geborgenheit. with david was provoked by the shocking revelation that he doesn't think about the future. no five year plan. no ten year plan. no thoughts of legacy or coherence. just honesty and genuineness *now*.
with daniel we debated pacifism and then the redemptive arc hermeneutic...
which brings me to the retraction -- turns out that LYNN is NOT a pacifist. she's just clearly opposed to the war we've most recently engaged in and thinking really hard about the implications of a commitment to nonviolence.
resultant self discovery: turns out that i am more likely to EMBRACE *then* consider when it comes to new positions. this may be a helpful rubric for those of you struggling to justify my earlier self descriptions as *liberal* and *pacifist*. i chalk this up to my 1.) penchant for hyperbole, 2.) my empathic strain, 3.) my procilivity to think outloud (i think marcia gave me the term "external processor"), & 4.) my tendency to want to think / be / perform outside of "the box". which, if you think about it, is kind of odd because this whole *embracing* thing just locks me into a new box...
sometime i'll devote a whole blog to how affixing our identities to the various discursive formations that surround us is always problematic and conflictual....but (big sigh of relief audience) not today.
have i fulfilled the promises of my title? can i end for the day?
~peace.
20.6.03
.
Spring Update
.
We're still too close to the semester to make sense of it. It's seemed busy and relentless. Hopefully in retrospect we'll see more clearly how the press of life and work and family opened up our vision. For now, it still feels like we're in the blur...
January 6 - The new semester begins. Lynn teaches Reading in the Content Area for the sixth time and Principles of Secondary Instruction for the third time. Andrew teaches Research Methods in Communication for only the second time, two sections of Mass Media and Society, and directs the Forensics and Debate Team. It's profound how the courses that we teach shape the way that we think about time passing, our personal identities, our work, our play and our ambitions. Neither of us went into the semester very excited about our teaching loads, the rhythm of academic life doesn't always assist in the quest for learning.
January 17 - 19 During a forensics meet at DuPage College, the family meets up with and spends time together with the Livermores in Geneva, IL. Spending time together with close friends who share ideals, longings, and many common histories is one of the surest ways to re-enliven our home / life / partnership / enthusiasm.
January 29 - Andrew's student and friend, Amy Watkins dies suddenly and unexpectedly. Amy was a funny, dark, talented writer / director who had just completed a successful semester in Los Angeles. She was set to direct a (witty, wry, incisive) film in the Student Film Festival and her unexpected death impacted many of the students who I most immediately share life quite profoundly.
March 5 - Mom & Dad Rudd visit for my birthday and we enjoy a long (for them!) visit together.
March 10 - Mom & Dad Leindecker come up for a dinner at Pizza Hut -- these visits are more regular and therefore MUCH enjoyed!
March 15 - I abandon the family for national Christian College Forensics Tournament. I get to spend a fun day with Gary and Annie, and then enjoy the fact that the entire tournament is punctuated by the presence of Cliff and (very pregnant!) Mary.
March 30 - After a long battle with dementia and Altzheimer's, Lynn's Grandma Erman dies.
April 12 - The Student Film Festival finally arrives. Attendance is huge, response is great. Andrew says, "I love this group of filmmakers. Just working with them makes my job enjoyable."
May 3 - Lynn and Andrew enjoy seeing so many graduates who have meant so much to us in the Parking Lot after Commencement. Later in the afternoon, they find out that Lynn's other grandmother has suddenly and unexpectedly died.
May 6 - Lynn and Andrew both begin teaching a one-month abbreviated Summer Session course. We have small classes and (thus) good dialogue. We're both really enjoying this teaching opportunity.
May 16 - The whole family enjoys a walk to ROS -- Lynn's favorite ice cream place -- a .5 mile walk from the house. We have a blast with Dawn; Marcia, Amy & David; & the Leons.
Memorial Day Weekend - We travel to catch up with our dear friends the Gibbs and have inspiring conversations and chaotic-kid-filled exploits. We travel to Ryan and Gigi's and visit the gardens (pictured above), listen to great tunes, visit the (cold damp) beach, and enjoy laughing and talking.
Spring Update
.
We're still too close to the semester to make sense of it. It's seemed busy and relentless. Hopefully in retrospect we'll see more clearly how the press of life and work and family opened up our vision. For now, it still feels like we're in the blur...
January 6 - The new semester begins. Lynn teaches Reading in the Content Area for the sixth time and Principles of Secondary Instruction for the third time. Andrew teaches Research Methods in Communication for only the second time, two sections of Mass Media and Society, and directs the Forensics and Debate Team. It's profound how the courses that we teach shape the way that we think about time passing, our personal identities, our work, our play and our ambitions. Neither of us went into the semester very excited about our teaching loads, the rhythm of academic life doesn't always assist in the quest for learning.
January 17 - 19 During a forensics meet at DuPage College, the family meets up with and spends time together with the Livermores in Geneva, IL. Spending time together with close friends who share ideals, longings, and many common histories is one of the surest ways to re-enliven our home / life / partnership / enthusiasm.
January 29 - Andrew's student and friend, Amy Watkins dies suddenly and unexpectedly. Amy was a funny, dark, talented writer / director who had just completed a successful semester in Los Angeles. She was set to direct a (witty, wry, incisive) film in the Student Film Festival and her unexpected death impacted many of the students who I most immediately share life quite profoundly.
March 5 - Mom & Dad Rudd visit for my birthday and we enjoy a long (for them!) visit together.
March 10 - Mom & Dad Leindecker come up for a dinner at Pizza Hut -- these visits are more regular and therefore MUCH enjoyed!
March 15 - I abandon the family for national Christian College Forensics Tournament. I get to spend a fun day with Gary and Annie, and then enjoy the fact that the entire tournament is punctuated by the presence of Cliff and (very pregnant!) Mary.
March 30 - After a long battle with dementia and Altzheimer's, Lynn's Grandma Erman dies.
April 12 - The Student Film Festival finally arrives. Attendance is huge, response is great. Andrew says, "I love this group of filmmakers. Just working with them makes my job enjoyable."
May 3 - Lynn and Andrew enjoy seeing so many graduates who have meant so much to us in the Parking Lot after Commencement. Later in the afternoon, they find out that Lynn's other grandmother has suddenly and unexpectedly died.
May 6 - Lynn and Andrew both begin teaching a one-month abbreviated Summer Session course. We have small classes and (thus) good dialogue. We're both really enjoying this teaching opportunity.
May 16 - The whole family enjoys a walk to ROS -- Lynn's favorite ice cream place -- a .5 mile walk from the house. We have a blast with Dawn; Marcia, Amy & David; & the Leons.
Memorial Day Weekend - We travel to catch up with our dear friends the Gibbs and have inspiring conversations and chaotic-kid-filled exploits. We travel to Ryan and Gigi's and visit the gardens (pictured above), listen to great tunes, visit the (cold damp) beach, and enjoy laughing and talking.
3.1.03
.
fall update
.
The leaves are dropping out of the sky like slow sporadic colorful rain. The light that sits outside of the broad bay window in the dining room still has the dramatic brown and gold quality of all the maple leaves around the back yard, but the sun barely powers the light to penetrate at all. The world looks silent and slightly bored with the inevitable death of autumn hanging in the air like the leaves barely attached to their branches.
Jaelyn's just finished her frozen toaster waffles and she's scrambling free of her brightly colored plastic booster chair. She spends a few moments transferring water from the refrigerator door to the sink where one dirty pan soaks. The little blue plastic tea cup only transports a thimblefull of water back and forth. This game is technically an illegal one, but the true danger of the game still sleeps just now. Addison has been waking up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason and staying awake, quite pleasantly, for close to an hour. As a result -- mornings for him don't come until at least 8:30.
Later this morning, Jaelyn, Addison and I will take our trip to the McKinley Museum where they will both revel in their simultaneous terror and thrill and the mechanical dinosaur that greets them with a roar and a clunky swipe of his ridiculously mechanized paw.
ROAR! says Addie to the dinosaur. One of his most clearly pronounced words.
He's just pretend. Jaelyn assures me or her brother -- or maybe herself -- as she tightens her gri[p on my hand.
After an hour or two at the museum we'll return for lunch and negotiate how many noodles or how many carrots or how much of a sandwich must be eaten before we can break out the halloween pumpkin full of tooth-rotting possibilities. Lynn will return from Malone & I'll be up and off.
This is by far the best semester we've had teaching-wise. We're teaching classes that we've taught at least two times each and we're starting to get the hang of scheduling heavy grading seasons.
This semester, Lynn and I both decided not to teach the introduction to College Education and Issues-type course that we've both taught in the past. She decided not to because we almost adopted a third baby. A long story, best shared in person. I'm directing the Forensics and Debate program at Malone (a one year, interim position) so that fills a little extra time, and a few more weekends.
Our lives are defined mostly by our work and our kids these days -- but here are some of the events and accomplishments that made the Fall Semester particularly meaningful:
A trip to New Orleans for a delayed celebration of our ten year anniversary. I presented at the National Communication Association and we got a chance to spend time with our dear friends Cliff, Mary & Deidra while there, too.
Jaelyn started school. Preschool, at least. She goes three days a week, three hours a day to the Lab School on Malone College's campus. That means that I get to take her to school two days a week, and Lynn and I can observe her through the one way mirror / window between classes.
Settling into a church that we love (!) Akron Christian Reformed Church was introduced to our lives by Marcia Everett. We're lucky to go to church with many other friends who we deeply enjoy from Malone -- the Waalkes family, the Jensen family, the Leon family, Dawn Buckley, Jim Brownlee...and we're enjoying getting to know others.
Family Thanksgiving at the Rudds is always a favorite holiday, and while an injury in our Patriarch prevented the annual NOTAL BOWL from being played...we invented a hybrid competition which included dodgeball, capture the flag, and a dark vast empty building.
10 Year Homecoming at Cedarville -- meant the invigorating conversation and time spent with our dear friends the Cearleys and Janson Cearley in Cincy. After the formal dinner where Jaelyn and Addison tried to turn off the banquet room lights on 300 people (twice), the Rhinds, the Davises, and the Mathiesons were kind enough to wait with me while the locksmith arrived to accomodate the (ironic twist of fate) LOST keys to our car!
An odd *14 year* high school reunion for me plopped into the middle of my Fall, too. It was only "odd" because it was *14* instead of 15. But it was great to see people who have impacted me and who I have loved deeply. It was, of course, too short and quick to make meaningful connection with people who I've missed. Speaking of...if there's any chance that Shannon is reading this...email me! I lost that little bit of paper that I wrote your email address on -- and I can't find you on the internet.
A surprise opportunity to catch up with my dear friend Allen McElroy occured when I visited Marietta on his birthday...we stood on the top of a beautiful hill where his home will be built and shared our joys, struggles and journeys.
Friends like Marcia Everett and Toby & Elaine shared life in the small ways -- but the best ways...by sitting around and having fun and occassionaly deep conversations with us.
My ten minute play, Video Collection, was directed by one of my favorite students, Josh Aufrance and debuted during Malone College's Ten Minute Play Fest. I don't know what the critics said, but I loved it.
Lynn made increasingly intricate jewelry for Christmas gifts and fun.
My friend from grad school, Bei Cai moved to town and threw a fun party.
A great visit from Uncle Ryan and Aunt Angie was cause for celebration and enjoyment.
Addison's Birthday celebration was a big one. Friends from church and school came to celebrate with him.
Christmas at the Rudds and the Leindeckers were big highlights for the kids who continue to "get it" each year. The Rudds exchanged individually made "ART" for each other. Daniel Rudd wrote a BOOK! (literally) for Andy/Lynn/family. Marianne illustrated it and they together had it bound. If you visit, be sure to ask to see it. It's amazing.
Erik, AKA basement boy, (our roomate of two years) asked Laura Miller to marry him. She said "yes!"
fall update
.
The leaves are dropping out of the sky like slow sporadic colorful rain. The light that sits outside of the broad bay window in the dining room still has the dramatic brown and gold quality of all the maple leaves around the back yard, but the sun barely powers the light to penetrate at all. The world looks silent and slightly bored with the inevitable death of autumn hanging in the air like the leaves barely attached to their branches.
Jaelyn's just finished her frozen toaster waffles and she's scrambling free of her brightly colored plastic booster chair. She spends a few moments transferring water from the refrigerator door to the sink where one dirty pan soaks. The little blue plastic tea cup only transports a thimblefull of water back and forth. This game is technically an illegal one, but the true danger of the game still sleeps just now. Addison has been waking up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason and staying awake, quite pleasantly, for close to an hour. As a result -- mornings for him don't come until at least 8:30.
Later this morning, Jaelyn, Addison and I will take our trip to the McKinley Museum where they will both revel in their simultaneous terror and thrill and the mechanical dinosaur that greets them with a roar and a clunky swipe of his ridiculously mechanized paw.
ROAR! says Addie to the dinosaur. One of his most clearly pronounced words.
He's just pretend. Jaelyn assures me or her brother -- or maybe herself -- as she tightens her gri[p on my hand.
After an hour or two at the museum we'll return for lunch and negotiate how many noodles or how many carrots or how much of a sandwich must be eaten before we can break out the halloween pumpkin full of tooth-rotting possibilities. Lynn will return from Malone & I'll be up and off.
This is by far the best semester we've had teaching-wise. We're teaching classes that we've taught at least two times each and we're starting to get the hang of scheduling heavy grading seasons.
This semester, Lynn and I both decided not to teach the introduction to College Education and Issues-type course that we've both taught in the past. She decided not to because we almost adopted a third baby. A long story, best shared in person. I'm directing the Forensics and Debate program at Malone (a one year, interim position) so that fills a little extra time, and a few more weekends.
Our lives are defined mostly by our work and our kids these days -- but here are some of the events and accomplishments that made the Fall Semester particularly meaningful:
A trip to New Orleans for a delayed celebration of our ten year anniversary. I presented at the National Communication Association and we got a chance to spend time with our dear friends Cliff, Mary & Deidra while there, too.
Jaelyn started school. Preschool, at least. She goes three days a week, three hours a day to the Lab School on Malone College's campus. That means that I get to take her to school two days a week, and Lynn and I can observe her through the one way mirror / window between classes.
Settling into a church that we love (!) Akron Christian Reformed Church was introduced to our lives by Marcia Everett. We're lucky to go to church with many other friends who we deeply enjoy from Malone -- the Waalkes family, the Jensen family, the Leon family, Dawn Buckley, Jim Brownlee...and we're enjoying getting to know others.
Family Thanksgiving at the Rudds is always a favorite holiday, and while an injury in our Patriarch prevented the annual NOTAL BOWL from being played...we invented a hybrid competition which included dodgeball, capture the flag, and a dark vast empty building.
10 Year Homecoming at Cedarville -- meant the invigorating conversation and time spent with our dear friends the Cearleys and Janson Cearley in Cincy. After the formal dinner where Jaelyn and Addison tried to turn off the banquet room lights on 300 people (twice), the Rhinds, the Davises, and the Mathiesons were kind enough to wait with me while the locksmith arrived to accomodate the (ironic twist of fate) LOST keys to our car!
An odd *14 year* high school reunion for me plopped into the middle of my Fall, too. It was only "odd" because it was *14* instead of 15. But it was great to see people who have impacted me and who I have loved deeply. It was, of course, too short and quick to make meaningful connection with people who I've missed. Speaking of...if there's any chance that Shannon is reading this...email me! I lost that little bit of paper that I wrote your email address on -- and I can't find you on the internet.
A surprise opportunity to catch up with my dear friend Allen McElroy occured when I visited Marietta on his birthday...we stood on the top of a beautiful hill where his home will be built and shared our joys, struggles and journeys.
Friends like Marcia Everett and Toby & Elaine shared life in the small ways -- but the best ways...by sitting around and having fun and occassionaly deep conversations with us.
My ten minute play, Video Collection, was directed by one of my favorite students, Josh Aufrance and debuted during Malone College's Ten Minute Play Fest. I don't know what the critics said, but I loved it.
Lynn made increasingly intricate jewelry for Christmas gifts and fun.
My friend from grad school, Bei Cai moved to town and threw a fun party.
A great visit from Uncle Ryan and Aunt Angie was cause for celebration and enjoyment.
Addison's Birthday celebration was a big one. Friends from church and school came to celebrate with him.
Christmas at the Rudds and the Leindeckers were big highlights for the kids who continue to "get it" each year. The Rudds exchanged individually made "ART" for each other. Daniel Rudd wrote a BOOK! (literally) for Andy/Lynn/family. Marianne illustrated it and they together had it bound. If you visit, be sure to ask to see it. It's amazing.
Erik, AKA basement boy, (our roomate of two years) asked Laura Miller to marry him. She said "yes!"
31.12.92
1992
In June, Lynn and I graduated from Cedarville College.
From June til August, we lived in Muskegon, Michigan and both worked at Maranatha Conference Center. We were both lifeguards, and I directed a program for teenagers (for the third year in a row).
In August we abandoned our plans (a week beforehand) to move to Berrien Springs and attend Andrews University and instead moved to Carol Stream, Illinois, a western suburb of Chicago.
Lynn accepted a job as a receptionist and office manager at Carol Stream Community Services Center and I worked part time as an assistant pastor at Fellowship Church of Carol Stream and part time as a librarian at the local public library (just two blocks from our apartment).
In my spare time I tried to write a novel and short stories that would help me be accepted into an MFA program in Creative Writing. Lynn worked on becoming a certified teacher for the state of Illinois.
I cooked big meals with very little health-consciousness. I drove a big rusty rickety black 15 passenger van that said CAROL STREAM BAPTIST CHURCH on the side.
We led activities at our church, spent weekends with our best friend from college, Brendon, and watched Northern Exposure faithfully.
We both read so many books that college seemed like a walk in the park. We dreamed of what would be next. We fought over how much time we should spend with friends. We negotiated over how we would make friends together. We filled our apartment with hand-me-downs from Lynn's generous family.
From June til August, we lived in Muskegon, Michigan and both worked at Maranatha Conference Center. We were both lifeguards, and I directed a program for teenagers (for the third year in a row).
In August we abandoned our plans (a week beforehand) to move to Berrien Springs and attend Andrews University and instead moved to Carol Stream, Illinois, a western suburb of Chicago.
Lynn accepted a job as a receptionist and office manager at Carol Stream Community Services Center and I worked part time as an assistant pastor at Fellowship Church of Carol Stream and part time as a librarian at the local public library (just two blocks from our apartment).
In my spare time I tried to write a novel and short stories that would help me be accepted into an MFA program in Creative Writing. Lynn worked on becoming a certified teacher for the state of Illinois.
I cooked big meals with very little health-consciousness. I drove a big rusty rickety black 15 passenger van that said CAROL STREAM BAPTIST CHURCH on the side.
We led activities at our church, spent weekends with our best friend from college, Brendon, and watched Northern Exposure faithfully.
We both read so many books that college seemed like a walk in the park. We dreamed of what would be next. We fought over how much time we should spend with friends. We negotiated over how we would make friends together. We filled our apartment with hand-me-downs from Lynn's generous family.
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