11.12.03

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Addison's Birthday
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logo image here

this morning jaelyn, lynn & i surrounded addison's bed and woke him up singing happy birthday.

we got through the whole song twice -- inches from his face -- and he was still laying there, hands folded neatly behind his head theoretically sound asleep.

at the end of chorus two, lynn said, "who's going to open one of his presents first thing this morning?"

no twitching or changing in the sleeping face, but his hand quickly thumped his own chest. Birthday song? ho-hum. Birthday presents? Well that's a whole different proposition.

the picture above is from LAST year's celebration -- the waalkes kids, jae, & leah surround the birthday hero.

below is a more recent photo (in action this summer).

though most birthday celebrations will be postponed til next week (because of jaelyn's severe strep -- and probable infectiousness of all of us), we're still celebrating Add's entry into our world!

He's a crazy, funny, smart guy, and we're the lucky ones...

logo image here

peace~


20.9.03

- saturday. finally. -


import from the back burner


it's an archtypal saturday morning.

we woke up late. (i haven't woken up late since I decided to be a more serious writer -- as most of you know 5 am is my date with my muse.) I had echinacea tea, j & a joined Lynn for some chai tea. She picked up an obsession from Andrea G. & the kids have joined her in her devotion to the stuff...

J & I both have the coughing, sneezing, sniffling, sneezing croup so HONEY in my tea (since I read _secret life of bees_ this summer, I have the sneaking suspicion that honey *is* the cure for everything) was great. Been listening to coldplay parachutes loud.

The kids are playing in the new sandbox grandpa garry just built them yesterday (read: that's not a sandbox -- that's a SMALL BEACH.)

The whole family ate popcorn and watched the neverending story last night. We've been fielding questions from Jaelyn about "what *is* the -nothing- though?" all morning.

I'm imagining a psuedo sci fi story where the nothing (eg. anti matter, black hole) slowly approaches the earth, and there are religious wars in churches, which are, along with casinos and brothels and prisons -- packed out....but the whole story wouldn't be about the world coming down (and i'm thinking that the world-coming-down story would be gentle and inevitable like the short story _The Ceiling_ and the novel _Blindness_ - not like the movie _Armageddon_) it would be about a religious conflict over whether or not different END TIMES theological frameworks (the kingdom coming, the rapture, the millenia, the apocalypse) could be REALLY HAPPENING in the approach of the coming nothing or if the coming nothing signalled something else. Kind of like a theological debate in the style of the _Name of the Rose_ -- only not quite so death-and-destruction as that story....

Eh?

And we put an offer on a house closer to Malone and it was accepted and now our house is on the market and we have to paint our kitchen ceiling, fix our bathroom (downstairs) walls, put in a little flooring, make up for three years of bad gardening plus the onslaught of fall...and we're signing hundreds of papers. And the tenure process is taking forever along with a self study that i'm heading up in the department -- we're sorting data and developing coding processes...

(anyone *else* bored with that last paragraph? how'd you like to live such administrivia?! BUT YOU DO!?! that's the kicker -- if it isn't homework, its taxes or investments or gardening and 401Ks and church boards and the United Way...)

And so when Jaelyn says but what *is* the nothing? I want to tell her that its the colonization of institutions upon the freedom and happiness of our minds....

But I know that these very same institutions frame our lives and give us privilege (give *me* privilege) that we otherwise couldn't enjoy...

It's a beautiful saturday morning -- sunshine in the wake of the leftover hurricane storms we've been feeling. And the resting makes me *see* the frenzy and the routine in a way that's not so benevolent.

I hope your Saturday morning gives you rest and peace and HOPE for the rest of the week -- because ultimately, I affirm that its not the presence of the institutions and their suckage that =s The Nothing --- it's the seeping & creeping away of HOPE in the bustle of trying to keep up with the great Sucking....and i hope that rest & hope leaves you feeling God's

peace~

31.7.03

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vacation summary - retraction - reflection -
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import from the back burner


we spent the last week in michigan. drove from canton at 6 p.m. last thursday, returned to casacommunitas at 12:30 this morning.

during the trip up, lynn and i had some deep - dark and some deep - light talks...i felt much closer to her. seems like talking / conversation -- the value we share most deeply and that binds us most fiercely to each other -- is always priced at a premium these days ...

spent several days with dave and linda in south haven, mi. we hadn't been there before, but it seemed just about perfect. the extended gibbs family has been singing its praises in several keys for several years and so finally their witness broke through and i accepted this particular unique salvation.

what was the shape of this grace?

free bikes from our inn, so meandering conversational bike rides, plenty of great food, "committee meetings" galore, some hardcore sunburning on the shore of lake michigan, lots of rich dialogue about everything imaginable.

late one night, after my E self had pretty much vampired all the energy of the other three I's in the room....i proclaimed -- "that's all there is in the world! memories and relationships!"

it still seems like a worthwhile axiom, but later we discovered that i had left out essential things like eating and tables in that particular equation...

hung out for a long time with each of my brothers and parents by the pool at geborgenheit. with david was provoked by the shocking revelation that he doesn't think about the future. no five year plan. no ten year plan. no thoughts of legacy or coherence. just honesty and genuineness *now*.

with daniel we debated pacifism and then the redemptive arc hermeneutic...

which brings me to the retraction -- turns out that LYNN is NOT a pacifist. she's just clearly opposed to the war we've most recently engaged in and thinking really hard about the implications of a commitment to nonviolence.

resultant self discovery: turns out that i am more likely to EMBRACE *then* consider when it comes to new positions. this may be a helpful rubric for those of you struggling to justify my earlier self descriptions as *liberal* and *pacifist*. i chalk this up to my 1.) penchant for hyperbole, 2.) my empathic strain, 3.) my procilivity to think outloud (i think marcia gave me the term "external processor"), & 4.) my tendency to want to think / be / perform outside of "the box". which, if you think about it, is kind of odd because this whole *embracing* thing just locks me into a new box...

sometime i'll devote a whole blog to how affixing our identities to the various discursive formations that surround us is always problematic and conflictual....but (big sigh of relief audience) not today.

have i fulfilled the promises of my title? can i end for the day?

~peace.

20.6.03

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Spring Update
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We're still too close to the semester to make sense of it.  It's seemed busy and relentless.  Hopefully in retrospect we'll see more clearly how the press of life and work and family opened up our vision.  For now, it still feels like we're in the blur...

January 6 - The new semester begins.  Lynn teaches Reading in the Content Area for the sixth time and Principles of Secondary Instruction for the third time.  Andrew teaches Research Methods in Communication for only the second time, two sections of Mass Media and Society, and directs the Forensics and Debate Team.  It's profound how the courses that we teach shape the way that we think about time passing, our personal identities, our work, our play and our ambitions.  Neither of us went into the semester very excited about our teaching loads, the rhythm of academic life doesn't always assist in the quest for learning.

January 17 - 19 During a forensics meet at DuPage College, the family meets up with and spends time together with the Livermores in Geneva, IL. Spending time together with close friends who share ideals, longings, and many common histories is one of the surest ways to re-enliven our home / life / partnership / enthusiasm.

January 29 - Andrew's student and friend, Amy Watkins dies suddenly and unexpectedly.  Amy was a funny, dark, talented writer / director who had just completed a successful semester in Los Angeles.  She was set to direct a (witty, wry, incisive) film in the Student Film Festival and her unexpected death impacted many of the students who I most immediately share life quite profoundly.

March 5 - Mom & Dad Rudd visit for my birthday and we enjoy a long (for them!) visit together.

March 10 - Mom & Dad Leindecker come up for a dinner at Pizza Hut -- these visits are more regular and therefore MUCH enjoyed!

March 15 - I abandon the family for national Christian College Forensics Tournament.  I get to spend a fun day with Gary and Annie, and then enjoy the fact that the entire tournament is punctuated by the presence of Cliff and (very pregnant!) Mary.

March 30 - After a long battle with dementia and Altzheimer's, Lynn's Grandma Erman dies. 

April 12 - The Student Film Festival finally arrives.  Attendance is huge, response is great.  Andrew says, "I love this group of filmmakers. Just working with them makes my job enjoyable."

May 3 - Lynn and Andrew enjoy seeing so many graduates who have meant so much to us in the Parking Lot after Commencement.  Later in the afternoon, they find out that Lynn's other grandmother has suddenly and unexpectedly died.

May 6 - Lynn and Andrew both begin teaching a one-month abbreviated Summer Session course.  We have small classes and (thus) good dialogue.  We're both really enjoying this teaching opportunity.

May 16 - The whole family enjoys a walk to ROS -- Lynn's favorite ice cream place -- a .5 mile walk from the house. We have a blast with Dawn; Marcia, Amy & David; & the Leons.

Memorial Day Weekend - We travel to catch up with our dear friends the Gibbs and have inspiring conversations and chaotic-kid-filled exploits.  We travel to Ryan and Gigi's and visit the gardens (pictured above), listen to great tunes, visit the (cold damp) beach, and enjoy laughing and talking.  






 

3.1.03

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fall update
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The leaves are dropping out of the sky like slow sporadic colorful rain.  The light that sits outside of the broad bay window in the dining room still has the dramatic brown and gold quality of all the maple leaves around the back yard, but the sun barely powers the light to penetrate at all.  The world looks silent and slightly bored with the inevitable death of autumn hanging in the air like the leaves barely attached to their branches. 

Jaelyn's just finished her frozen toaster waffles and she's scrambling free of her brightly colored plastic booster chair.  She spends a few moments transferring water from the refrigerator door to the sink where one dirty pan soaks.  The little blue plastic tea cup only transports a thimblefull of water back and forth.  This game is technically an illegal one, but the true danger of the game still sleeps just now. Addison has been waking up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason and staying awake, quite pleasantly, for close to an hour.  As a result -- mornings for him don't come until at least 8:30. 

Later this morning, Jaelyn, Addison and I will take our trip to the McKinley Museum where they will both revel in their simultaneous terror and thrill and the mechanical dinosaur that greets them with a roar and a clunky swipe of his ridiculously mechanized paw.

ROAR! says Addie to the dinosaur.  One of his most clearly pronounced words. 

He's just pretend.  Jaelyn assures me or her brother -- or maybe herself -- as she tightens her gri[p on my hand.

After an hour or two at the museum we'll return for lunch and negotiate how many noodles or how many carrots or how much of a sandwich must be eaten before we can break out the halloween pumpkin full of tooth-rotting possibilities.  Lynn will return from Malone & I'll be up and off. 

This is by far the best semester we've had teaching-wise.  We're teaching classes that we've taught at least two times each and we're starting to get the hang of scheduling heavy grading seasons.

This semester, Lynn and I both decided not to teach the introduction to College Education and Issues-type course that we've both taught in the past.  She decided not to because we almost adopted a third baby.  A long story, best shared in person.  I'm directing the Forensics and Debate program at Malone (a one year, interim position) so that fills a little extra time, and a few more weekends.

Our lives are defined mostly by our work and our kids these days -- but here are some of the events and accomplishments that made the Fall Semester particularly meaningful:

A trip to New Orleans for a delayed celebration of our ten year anniversary.  I presented at the National Communication Association and we got a chance to spend time with our dear friends Cliff, Mary & Deidra while there, too.

Jaelyn started school. Preschool, at least.  She goes three days a week, three hours a day to the Lab School on Malone College's campus.  That means that I get to take her to school two days a week, and Lynn and I can observe her through the one way mirror / window between classes.  

Settling into a church that we love (!) Akron Christian Reformed Church was introduced to our lives by Marcia Everett.  We're lucky to go to church with many other friends who we deeply enjoy from Malone -- the Waalkes family, the Jensen family, the Leon family, Dawn Buckley, Jim Brownlee...and we're enjoying getting to know others.

Family Thanksgiving at the Rudds is always a favorite holiday, and while an injury in our Patriarch prevented the annual NOTAL BOWL from being played...we invented a hybrid competition which included dodgeball, capture the flag, and a dark vast empty building.

10 Year Homecoming at Cedarville -- meant the invigorating conversation and time spent with our dear friends the Cearleys and Janson Cearley in Cincy.  After the formal dinner where Jaelyn and Addison tried to turn off the banquet room lights on 300 people (twice), the Rhinds, the Davises, and the Mathiesons  were kind enough to wait with me while the locksmith arrived to accomodate the (ironic twist of fate) LOST keys to our car!

An odd *14 year* high school reunion for me plopped into the middle of my Fall, too.  It was only "odd" because it was *14* instead of 15.  But it was great to see people who have impacted me and who I have loved deeply.  It was, of course, too short and quick to make meaningful connection with people who I've missed. Speaking of...if there's any chance that Shannon is reading this...email me!  I lost that little bit of paper that I wrote your email address on -- and I can't find you on the internet.

A surprise opportunity to catch up with my dear friend Allen McElroy occured when I visited Marietta on his birthday...we stood on the top of a beautiful hill where his home will be built and shared our joys, struggles and journeys.

Friends like Marcia Everett and Toby & Elaine shared life in the small ways -- but the best ways...by sitting around and having fun and occassionaly deep conversations with us.

My ten minute play, Video Collection, was directed by one of my favorite students, Josh Aufrance and debuted during Malone College's Ten Minute Play Fest.  I don't know what the critics said, but I loved it.

Lynn made increasingly intricate jewelry for Christmas gifts and fun.

My friend from grad school, Bei Cai moved to town and threw a fun party.

A great visit from Uncle Ryan and Aunt Angie was cause for celebration and enjoyment.

Addison's Birthday celebration was a big one.  Friends from church and school came to celebrate with him.

Christmas at the Rudds and the Leindeckers were big highlights for the kids who continue to "get it" each year.   The Rudds exchanged individually made "ART" for each other.  Daniel Rudd wrote a BOOK! (literally) for Andy/Lynn/family.  Marianne illustrated it and they together had it bound.  If you visit, be sure to ask to see it.  It's amazing.



Erik, AKA basement boy, (our roomate of two years) asked Laura Miller to marry him.  She said "yes!"