Rites of Passage

Yesterday Addison announced that today was tomorrow.

I was confused too. Until Lynn explained to me that Yesterday he had decided that Tomorrow he would be getting rid of his Flyer. And today is tomorrow (but that was yesterday).

When Jaelyn was ready to give up her pacifier (nicknamed the Flyer, via Gabe Gibbs, channeling an Unger Family Tradition), she took it to Toys R Us and bought a doll named Haley (just days after Haley Cearley had been born), so today, Addison his sister’s example and valiantly gave up his Flyer, using it to purchase (what else?) a sword!



Giving up your flyer is no small thing. The dude has not passed a single night, owie or naptime without asking for his Flyer and Blankie. But he quit. Cold turkey.

.

Saw our friend Josh Elek at church today. He and Erik (former housemate) and Cristin were all very close friends with (our friend, too) Scott Schuler who died unexpectedly this week. He was 25 and we found out about his brain death minutes before Noah took his tumble to the ground.

Noah is fine. Scott is dead. This jumble of life and emotion is exhausting. Harry blessed Josh & Cristin during Communion, but ironically the Celtic band was wailing away at this celebratory, tambourine & flute driven song. And it felt like that highwire again.

But Josh talked about this perfect healing moment where a ton of Scott’s friends walked down the steps of the McKinley Monument in silence at 3 am, a little tipsy from toasting and re-membering Scott, and suddenly that moment felt like a bit of lived poetry. A sort of perfection in the middle of sadness...

.

These accidental and incidental rites of passage are so desperately important for marking our lives for us. The chaos feels so pervasive, so relentless, so neverending, that when we can find some gesture to mark ourselves as new and mark the past as behind us.

Utne Reader recently had some articles on DIY rituals, but I think the irony is that rituals only work if they come from US (as opposed to ME). But all the us-s in our lives are so fragmentered and illusory. In these moments, I wish that it wasn’t a blog that connected me to so many of you who have helped me pass from this to that part of my life….And frankly, I could use you around me, to help me keep growing up…

Peace~

(not a sword)


cross post from the backburner